Moving Out?

I haven't had time to explain my moving out situation, but I will. Either way, I asked sent my dad an e-mail regarding moving in with him. My two questions were...

What would the rules be at your house?
Is there a closet in that room that I could hang up my clothes?

This is his response...

• No kite flying indoors.
• No guests above the first floor except for a bathroom break.
• Must take all medicines prescribed
• no smoking except on third floor
• 2nd floor tv on mute or headphones (provided)
• reasonable, sane conduct
• learn and use burgler alarm
• clean room and bathroom.
• Yes there is a closet
• Don't move stuff that is not yours
• Don't eat other peoples food without permission
• No off street parking provided but may be periodically available.
• Be nice to the animals.
• You get no pets. Too many now.
• No guns other than those provided, same for ammo.
• You may be terminated at any time with notice

...If I had more time I could think up more


My dad is a very special fellow. That is copied directly from the e-mail, I got it on my blackberry and came online to put it here, because I think he's funny.

Cigarette

Fort Minor

"Cigarette"

Man I love this rap game

Mainly cause its cool

To add a little spice to the life you've been through

Everyone exaggerates a tiny little bit

To make that shit sound more gangster than it really is

You can't appear weak man

We wanna hear street

Wanna hear you spit your thug over this here beat

Dont take it as sarcastic

I can't get enough

Im telling you

You can call my bluff

If it's not rough, then I really don't need it

I'm not even ashamed

I got too much reality thats filling up my brain

so sell me on that chronic, I'm addicted to the game

Suck it up like a cigarette, light it up

Its just like a cigarette, its something that I do<br/>

Once in awhile but between me and you

Its just like a cigarette Nobody's really fooled

I dont want the truth, I wanna feel fucking cool

Let me tell you something that I realized tonight

My hip hop radio is like marlboro lights

They're both selling stories and they sound about the same

Cigarettes say their safe, wrappers claim they really bang

We dont care if it's true when we lay the money down<br/>

We don't believe the words, we just love the way they sound

They're acting like we're idiots, They're lying to our face

Maybe we are idiots, we buy it anyway

I'm runnin out to get the next rapper's CD

Just suckin up the guns, drugs, and misogyny

The same way that I suck up all the stories

When I breathe that little bit of death supposedly cancer-free and

Everything they say's got the truth twisted up

But twisted up's what I want man, I can't get enough

Cuz even though we know it's all just a big bluff

We just light another up, what

We don't give a fuck

Its just like a cigarette, its something that I do

Once in awhile but between me and you

Its just like a cigarette Nobody's really fooled

I dont want the truth, I wanna feel fucking cool

Listen to the words, Listen for awhile

Lip Service radio, dont touch the dial

If you're in the car

Turn up the track man

Give the whole neighborhood some second hand rap

Matter of fact

Listen to the words, Listen for awhile

Lip Service radio, dont touch the dial

If you're in the car

Turn up the track man

Give the whole neighborhood some second hand rap

Its just like a cigarette, its something that I do

Once in awhile but between me and you

Its just like a cigarette Nobody's really fooled

I dont want the truth, I wanna feel fucking cool

So since I came down with pneumonia, I haven't really smoked. I think I've averaged one cig a day, and one day I think I had one and half, because I couldn't make it all the way through the second one.
I'm so f'ing sick of being f'ing sick that I might just go crazy. I don't understand why I'm the most unhealthy person ever.

Dear Cancer Sticks, I love you.

Courtesy of NY Daily News (http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2008/12/28/2008-12-28_gotcha_salma_hayek_more_star_smokers_try-2.html)
By KORIN MILLER DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

Whatcha got there, Salma Hayek?
The "Ugly Betty" star is the latest closet celebrity smoker to be exposed after she was spotted puffing away on American Spirits this weekend in Beverly Hills alongside her 1-year-old daughter, Valentina.
Cameras caught the secret smoker outside Neiman Marcus as she lit up while her mom and tiny tot waited.
Hayek told Marie Claire last year that she got hooked on cigarettes while filming "Frida" - and subsequently quit last April.
"It's the s---iest vice you could possibly pick," she said. "I've tried to quit before. But this time I'm done with it. I've changed."
But the 42-year-old isn't the only star who tries to keep her nicotine addiction under wraps for fear of a negative fan reaction.
"Desperate Housewives" star Eva Longoria Parker was desperate to keep her habit a secret after she was caught in the act while vacationing in Puerto Rico earlier this month.
"She hates to be photographed smoking," says X-17 owner Frank Navarre. "But we get her once in a while."
But why all the secrecy?
"It's so taboo," says Antonia Russo, a Manhattan image consultant who specializes in advising performing artists.
Not only does does the habit work against Hollywood's health conscious image, she says, but it's counterintuitive to being a role model for teens.
"There's definitely a concept of 'people who smoke just don't care about themselves' or they're socially irresponsible," she says. As a role model, "you wouldn't want to be a part of that."
Teen idol (and frequent smoker) "The Hills" star Lauren Conrad never appears on her hit reality show with a cigarette - and goes to great lengths to abstain from puffing in public. "She avoids it," says Navarre.
Onetime closet smoker Britney Spears now openly flaunts her Marlboro Lights, while Anne Hathaway just admitted
she was a smoker for years - before she quit this summer.
And new mom Ashlee Simpson-Wentz was a top-secret smoker who went to great lengths to hide her habit before she became pregnant, even ducking behind a pal when one of our reporters caught her in the act last year.
The American Lung Association frowns upon star smokers, but still holds the tobacco industry responsible for influencing teens.
The organization "does not blame smokers, celebrity or otherwise," says spokesman Heather Grzelka. "The tobacco industry is guilty of causing nearly 400,000 deaths due to smoking related illnesses each year."
"There is nothing glamorous about a product that causes death and disease," she adds.
But, according to Navarre, stars don't seem to care about smoking's nasty side effects.
"A lot of celebrities smoke - a lot," he said. "Young Hollywood is still a big smoker. The [anti-smoking] campaign has no effect on them."


Katherine Heigl used to hide her habit, but now openly smokes in public


Dear Cancer Sticks,

Yeah, we all know smoking is bad for you. There is a reason that you have to be 18 to buy them, because by then, the state thinks your mature enough to make decisions that will effect you for the rest of your life. Not to mention, every time I light up, or buy a pack of smokes I get a little love letter from the Surgeon General telling me that I could mess up my kids, get cancer or another smoking related illness.

I can honestly say that I don't think that the tobacco industry is responsible for me smoking, I mean, their ads. Obviously if they didn't make them, I couldn't smoke them. I can't think of any ad that I ever saw that made me want to have a cigarette. Honestly, Hollywood which is shunning actors/actresses for smoking, is probably more responsible for it. Yeah, I know the tobacco industry pays for people to smoke in movies, but hey, Hollywood is reaping the benefits and bitching about the effects.

Yeah, I'm not going to smoke for my whole life, and certainly not if I get pregnant. I wouldn't smoke around my niece, nephew or Bobby's niece, pretty much all little kids. When I was in Kentucky, Bobby's Mom said then when we go outside to smoke, if it's nice out to take his niece, and I told her straight up, I didn't feel comfortable doing that. She sort of laughed and said don't give her a puff or anything just let her play outside while your smoking. Regardless, Bobby and I agreed that it wasn't gonna happen. I'm not gonna start smoking again after I have kids, that it's my end point, play time's over, and not smoking while I have children is important to me.

I don't know, this is a rant, but I just think it's stupid that people are looked down upon as smokers. We're not allowed to do it inside, people are grossed out by it, and give us shit. I can honestly say, nothing pisses me off more than some random person telling me that it's bad for me. NO SHIT!!! It says on the box ASSHOLE!!